I have realized that I am becoming an introvert. I have no reason to sit alone, reading, playing games, crocheting or watching TV but I do. I go for walks in the parks, woods or at the beach alone. I get invited out almost daily but most of the time I am happier in my own space, enjoying what I enjoy. Maybe it is because so many of my friends social lives depend on alcohol and I rarely drink anymore, no big life decision, I just don’t enjoy that lifestyle anymore. I have dated quite a lot the last six months but feel no need to get in any way close to any of the men I meet. My on-line profiles now stipulate “friends”, no romance or intimacy. I am also quite content with this and more often than not even avoid a friendly get together for coffee. Funny since I have always been a very social person until now. Maybe I have just been let down too many times or maybe I am just evolving, trying to figure out who I am without being connected to others.
Anyway I am new to the whole being alone thing so maybe it is just normal to learn to enjoy ones own company. No longer needing the validation of others is freeing in a way. No more being judged by those who claim to care, nor being criticized for it. Having the time and energy to do what I truly want to do instead of being too exhausted to even think about it. All good reasons to stay right where I am for now at least. That may change, we will see………….for now I am going to go with the flow as they say and as long as I am happy I am not going to concern myself with outside forces.
I like my world and am liking myself (and spoiling myself) more every day. And regardless of the implications of this I am enjoying my solitude.