Cold

I am fast becoming cold. Within one hour tonight I had 2 people call me for help and earlier another messaging me because he once again needs help with his computer, people who are not there for me but repeatedly call on me for help. I said NO to all of them and I surprisingly don’t feel the least bit guilty. I am so damned sick of this shit. I am sick, alone and tired, so tired. Fighting alone to get myself a life only to get dragged back down to look after someone else’s BS. Well sorry to say but I am going to be alone, lonely and selfish AND I am going to get my life back! So fuck anyone who doesn’t like that, it’s the way it has to be, finally I am truly looking after me and if that seems cold to you I am not sorry in the least. I have tried to be positive and rebuild my life but still let you keep me down….no more. I am living for ME. Deal with it ! If you want to be in my life GREAT ! But know it is give and take from here on in….not give and get shit on! I am praying I get this job I interviewed for last week and NO I am not dating in any shape or form…. not strong enough for that at this point… I just need to look after ME. And if I need to become COLD then so be it. Not sorry for this post in any way…. I need it and that is all that matters anymore. Would be a perfect world if those who took gave back but if I have learned anything these last months it is that it is NOT a perfect world, far from it and if I am to get anything I have to stop giving so much of myself to others. I need what little strength and energy I have for myself.

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About bettywins3

I am beginning life anew with a new job and home. It may be an exciting and challenging voyage but always it brings joy, happiness and calm. I am always seeking out knowledge where-ever I may find it , I love learning even the most mundane things, I love watching TED and surfing the net , I google anything I don't know no matter how trivial it may seem. Never too late to expand our horizons!
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