Relationships Are Work !!!

Good Evening 🙂

Today’s post is going to be a little emotional and it’s gonna hurt some people to think about what I’m going to write a little bit but that’s OK because after all talking about, accepting and forgiving is how we get through any hard time in our life isn’t it? And yes I do realize I am not in a relationship at the moment 😉

I was reading some posts on social media in the last while and not only girls but guys as well seem to be posting quite a lot about relationship disappointments lately or maybe it’s just that I’m noticing them more now. Anyway I obviously have some thoughts on that, for one my last relationship was wonderful and I really had no complaints until after it ended and I figured out what I know now. That’s not even the point, I read every day about how the partner (male or female) is lazy, forgetful, a flirt, doesn’t make enough money, doesn’t know how to cook etc. And I just have to shake my head because honestly you should be talking to that person and not social media and not even your friends but to that person that you continually have the selfsame complaints about. I remember one of my relationships that between year four and seven whenever he knew something was bothering me and ask me I would honestly say “Same problem different day” There was only one obstacle in my last relationship and I tried desperately to talk to him about it and to solve the problem and when it couldn’t be done the relationship had to end. If their flaws really bother you so much what ever this shortcoming of your partner is and you’ve talked to them and it can’t be solved maybe you need to think about if that’s really the problem. Maybe it’s safer for you to pick on that issue and not have to talk about what’s really bothering you? Maybe it’s a very personal thing sexual, hygiene or body image but for crying out loud if you can’t talk to your partner why the hell are you with them. Maybe the relationship has become a habit and you really just don’t want to be there anymore, for whatever reason you not happy. And I know leaving any relationship is harder than hell but my god man are you really willing to be unhappy and unsatisfied for the rest your damn life just so you don’t go through a little pain? I myself was hurting and miserable but that’s because my relationship ended very badly and I didn’t know why it had to end but in the last four months I’ve come to the realization that it did have to end, that we didn’t want the same things so it would never have been what I needed it to be. So please for your own sanity and peace of mind sit down with your partner and just discuss what these issues are and solve them. Mention the topic and if need be take a few days and both of you write down everything from he leaves the cap off the toothpaste to our sex life sucks and then just openly and honestly decide what each of you can live with and what needs to be fixed and damn well fix it! And if your partner doesn’t want to discuss these things well then I guess you have your answer don’t you? Relationships are work, they are not disposable or at least they shouldn’t be and if you find that yours is that I guess the only decision you need to make is how long are you going to stay where you are not happy?

I do realize that I’m 55 years old and a lot of these posts are coming from much younger people so maybe just maybe I’ve learned something in my last five relationships they you weren’t told that it’s also something that I wish to hell I had practiced 40 years ago and didn’t have to wait and go through what I did to learn that communication, acceptance, tolerance and a helluva lot of give and take is necessary for any relationship to survive and even thrive. Any way that’s my take on the subject so input and feedback always helpful people especially when it comes to a topic that involves something this serious.

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About bettywins3

I am beginning life anew with a new job and home. It may be an exciting and challenging voyage but always it brings joy, happiness and calm. I am always seeking out knowledge where-ever I may find it , I love learning even the most mundane things, I love watching TED and surfing the net , I google anything I don't know no matter how trivial it may seem. Never too late to expand our horizons!
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