Feelings or Not

Good morning everybody 🙂

So I haven’t written for a bit but that’s because I’ve just been really tired, I may have picked up a bug somewhere but I’ve been just wiped really, really wiped.

Moving ahead now I did work a bit this week enough to cover whenever costs I may have had and my bills are paid along with my rent so all is good and the financial front. Still looking for that in town job though, don’t think I’ll ever give up on that idea.

I’ve gained a new outlook on my life as it is right now in that since I’ve avoided, made excuses, or just blatantly said no to any and all offers to go out with a few different men I’ve come to the conclusion can I just simply do not want a man of my life right now. This happened after my other breakups where I went a couple years before I actually began dating with any kind of seriousness so it was kind of expected. Just looking for friends maybe to go out for dinner or watch a movie. But definitely nothing romantic in any way. And believe it or not I’m fine with that I’m coming to enjoy coming and going as I please, I eat when I want, get up and I want, go to bed when I want and I only on myself and Baggy to worry about and that is beyond OK. Do I think about the ex? Hell yeah 100 times a day but it doesn’t hurt or make me angry or feel anything really it’s just a memory and it comes and goes like any other memory. A couple of times I admit I’ve felt the pain like it’s fresh, like it just happened all over again but I quickly remind myself that us not being together is a good thing. Just because I loved him with everything I had wasn’t going to make it work. And he’s really not able to be himself if that makes sense, he apparently kept up appearances with me for as long as he could that that’s not who he really is and I don’t know who he really is. And I don’t think he does either. I don’t suppose I ever did. The wonderful man that he appeared to be never existed that much I am sure of. God knows I wish he did because that man I could’ve loved that man forever.

So I’m just going to continue along the way of I’ve been going the last few months, building new outlets for my social life and my creativity. I am very content with my apartment, my financial situation, my friends/family and my life as it is. So like they say why mess with something that isn’t broken.

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About bettywins3

I am beginning life anew with a new job and home. It may be an exciting and challenging voyage but always it brings joy, happiness and calm. I am always seeking out knowledge where-ever I may find it , I love learning even the most mundane things, I love watching TED and surfing the net , I google anything I don't know no matter how trivial it may seem. Never too late to expand our horizons!
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