The Darker Side of My Life

Good morning. While not for me I hope it is for all of you. Going to go too I guess what you would call the dark side of my life today. Or one of them at least.

I have not spoken about my oldest son much except I think to explain that we were estranged for many years due to his incarcerations since the age of 12, gang affiliations and drug addiction. There came a point where I had to cut him out of my life for my own sanity. He is now 30 years old. Roughly six months ago he came to me telling me he had been clean for year and had not been imprisoned for almost two so I’ve been attempting to reconcile our relationship. He has a girlfriend, he’s been with her couple of years now and I believe she is only 24 as has twins that were taken away from her by social services for her lifestyle choices. She is also an ex drug addict and prostitute. While prostituting while he was in prison she contracted HIV, to prove his love for her he injected himself with some of her blood thus becoming HIV himself, they also both have hepatitis C. On top of this she is extremely bipolar and lashes out at every one and anyone with a little provocation, and definitely needs psychological help.

After my own turmoil in December and while I was under an immense amount of stress I attempted to stay with them and set about working every day and coming home to nothing but yelling, screaming and drama, she would start arguments with neighbors and twice with complete strangers on the street and when nobody else was available at my son. I believe she does this for attention as she has nothing else to gain except his wanting to protect her from imagined threats. After a week and 1/2, it was Christmas Eve and I got off work at 330. I had arranged to meet them at the grocery store to get ingredients to make pies for Christmas dinner as my gay friends J and J had invited us all to Christmas dinner. While at the store they stole sun glasses and therefore where in a rush to get out of there although I didn’t know why at the time. They told me afterwards in the car. We stopped at the beer store to pick up a six pack and while in the store my son beat up a guy in the parking lot because she said he had raped her years earlier. When we got home I told them that this is totally inappropriate and that this kind of behavior had to stop. She went off on me telling me to mind my own business, it’s her home and she behaves however she wants. Then started screaming it him because she could not find a lighter, this yelling match went on for almost an hour until he stormed out of the house and she turned her anger on me because in her eyes this was all my fault. I preceded to quietly pack up my belongings not responding to her tirade and get my things to the car. When I didn’t react to her she had left the house looking for him. During this quiet time he called to tell me I didn’t have to leave that he had told her to behave and apologize for the way she treated me. I told them I was sorry but I could handle it anymore and left.

Two days before I moved in this apartment the beginning of February they called to say that they had been jumped by a group of punks and could no longer stay at their apartment and needed a place to stay. Against my better judgment and after telling him that I would not put up with even one episode I agreed. As you can imagine that didn’t last a week. She eats constantly, and I do mean constantly. If she is and smoking pot, which they manage to scam $10.00 for each day or sleeping she’s eating. In one day she ate hash browns, sausages, eggs and four pieces of toast for breakfast. For lunch she ate three sandwiches. The dinner I cooked a full meal chicken, potatoes and peas. She did make French fries a few times during the day but I honestly was trying not to “get on her case” as my son put it. I suggested making French fries for dinner and she informed me that they were gone. She had eaten an entire 2 kg bag of French fries on top of a three good meals. We then had a discussion about how I’d budgeted my groceries for the entire month and after one week was almost out of food. She went into one of her tantrums and I told them they had to leave, she responded by swearing, cussing and even trying to attack me physically. I told them to get out now. A week or so later he called me saying they were staying in a motel and wanted to come to the things so I obliged and got their belongings to the motel. As a motel is quite a distance from town I agreed to take them to get their methadone the next day. One morning they called and I explained I did not have the gas money to keep doing this and that they would need to provide gas money if they needed rides daily. He said his father was sending an 80 dollars and that he would give me 20 for gas as he needed the 60 to pay rent, he had his father call me and he put the money in my bank account. The kids walk into town and met me, I had gotten the money from the bank already and as they were getting in the car he said no just give us the money and we need to go get pot. I said he needed to pay his rent and be responsible and that that’s what we needed to do. But she was outside the car still and started screaming at me again that it’s none of my bleep bleep business how they spend their money and ended that with some very nasty name calling. As my son was already in the car I drove away around the corner and tried talking to him about the fact that they would not have a place to stay if they did not pay rent at the motel. She texted me to say she had phoned the police and I was going to be charged with kidnapping and theft. I gave up gave him the money and came home to find a police at my door, I explained the situation and they said sorry for bothering me. And a few days later again he calls, this was on Saturday morning because they had forgotten to get their methadone prescriptions refilled and so could not get any of the pharmacy until Monday could I drive them to the hospital to get some, the grudgingly I did and the hospital would not give them methadone but gave them some pills to relax them and get them through until Monday. They call this morning freaking out, they were in a bad way, drug sick because of lack of methadone and I have no doubt took all the pills by hospital gave them last night. When I told him I only had 1/4 tank of gas and that would need at least $20.00 to get me to London and back he said no problem that his dad had said he would give them the money for both my gas and for him to buy methadone off the buddy who gets to take his home with him. We got to London and his father gave me the $20.00 but my son proceeded to say that he needed $10.00 of that money for the pot for them for the day. His dad had given them 1/2 carton of cigarettes and some food. I put my foot down and said I was sorry but I was not giving him the money and they would have to do without the pot. He got angry told me to take the money and go home he’d find his own way back. By the time I got to the car across the street they were both running after me screaming and yelling that I was taking them home and I was giving them $10.00 whether I liked it or not before I got the doors locked they were in the car screaming and yelling, she was smashing at my windows with my ice scraper and calling me the foulest names I can imagine. Unfortunately while trying to get the ice scraper out of her hand she says I struck her but that I wasn’t sure I actually had and she then grabbed me by the hair and started punching me in the head which was when I exited the car. I demanded they get out of my car and they both came to pin me against the car while she rammed her chest into me screaming and yelling obscenities. People driving by stopped their cars to ask if I needed help I asked them to phone the police. The police got there only to have the both of them at each window of the cruiser screaming and yelling at the officer. I stood back and waited for the officer to come speak with me. When she did I explained exactly what happened, even where I may or may not have struck her while trying to retrieve the ice scraper. They were still both ranting and raving at the other officer that when this officer asked me what I want to do about it and I told her I just wanna go home. She called the other officer over an assured me that they would see me out of the parking lot safely. This sent both kids into a whole new tirade where they wanted me charged with assaulting her and when a police officer said no they began yelling of police officers as I drove away.

Unfortunately I am not strong enough to sustain a relationship with him any longer am going to have to once again cut him out of my life. This breaks my heart beyond belief that seriously I am currently dealing with my own issues and simply cannot emotionally afford to keep them in my life.


About bettywins3

I am beginning life anew with a new job and home. It may be an exciting and challenging voyage but always it brings joy, happiness and calm. I am always seeking out knowledge where-ever I may find it , I love learning even the most mundane things, I love watching TED and surfing the net , I google anything I don't know no matter how trivial it may seem. Never too late to expand our horizons!
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