Really nothing has changed

I have been thinking of how my life has changed since Dec 3rd. I have a new apartment and a new outlook that much is true. But I still get up every morning early and listen to BX 93 while I clean the house and do the dishes, I have my shower and go to work, I make a much smaller dinner and eat it while watching TV then go to bed early, true I am staying up later than I used to and getting up a little later too but the rest of my routine is basically the same. The only real difference is that I no longer do these things with or for the man I love, I do them for me. And ultimately that is the best reason to do anything in life isn’t it. I am trying very hard to stay positive and I admit it is not easy at times, but overall I am becoming more successful at it. I am looking for a job in town as that would save expense and wear and tear on the car and I am getting sick of the commute each morning. I am building a social life and meeting new people who I truly enjoy spending time with. I am not thinking of the life I lost but of the life I now have and trying not to dwell on the man I thought loved me as much as I did him. I am sure that I am going to be alright given time and the life I build for myself will be even better with the lessons I have learned. I am happy being single because quite frankly I am not sure I need or want a relationship again, trust is not something I do easily to begin with and I am not willing to allow myself to be hurt like I have been in the past again. Anyway I still am very much in love with M.S. so really would it be fair to anyone to even begin something I can’t promise anything for ? So that’s it in a nutshell ~ as many changes as I have brought about ~ somehow things stayed the same. I am content right now and having more happy minutes each day, more time spent thinking about the future and less on the past………..I will be happy again, on my own terms, not anyone else’s.


About bettywins3

I am beginning life anew with a new job and home. It may be an exciting and challenging voyage but always it brings joy, happiness and calm. I am always seeking out knowledge where-ever I may find it , I love learning even the most mundane things, I love watching TED and surfing the net , I google anything I don't know no matter how trivial it may seem. Never too late to expand our horizons!
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