So I am moving into the new place this weekend and believe me I cannot wait to get that done and over with…as much as I hate moving I am looking forward to this one. Will probably be my roughest move to date but will be well worth it to have my life back again.
Also have been called back to my job commencing Monday but will continue to look for something closer to home… wow that sounds nice “home” . Will be so nice to have a home again, one I cannot lose for anything or anyone. One that is all mine where I can do what I please when I please and not have to answer to anyone else.
I am definitely moving on quickly emotionally as well, counseling is helping with that as are good friends and family who truly do love and support me as I move on, now I recognize the control issues in that relationship for what they were and not my interpretation of his caring about me it is much easier to let go and get on with my life. I am learning new skills and will definitely not be so quick to accept what someone says but will pay much closer attention to what they do, with an open mind and will recognize the warning signs of a toxic person long before I need to rescue myself yet again. I will say again I do not regret the year and a half I loved him, I don’t as that is how I love someone, with all I have… it is his loss that he did not recognize that and took advantage of the situation for as long as he did. He really could have had it all, but that is for another man to see in me and accept me for the person I am without the need to change me. Nor to keep me isolated and convinced that all I need is him. One who is strong enough in himself to have no need to be in control of my life all the time. One who trusts me and doesn’t let his own insecurities rule the relationship. He is out there and until we meet I will build a good foundation to my life, to live and grow in happiness and learning. And when you think about it I have a good life overall.
I am also learning once again that I am a strong woman and have no need of a man but I do recognize that if one does come along I will know a good man when I see one next time, not this month or maybe this year but I will when the time is right. I will continue learning and growing and becoming who I truly am. Without fear or negativity but with strength and resolution and belief in myself.