So after spending time talking with friends and reading several other blogs and of course watching tv and movies about the subject of love I have come to some pretty not so hard to figure out conclusions. So I am invariably going to share my self-proclaimed wisdom with you all once again. So here it is.
When we are in a relationship we give it our all, or do we? We may think we do but maybe sit back and see if you are truly being unselfish and giving to your partner. I have and I am sometimes selfish in my needs. I know this and am working on correcting this character flaw. We sometimes expect the other person to show they love us in a way we are familiar with and let’s face it that is not always going to work for both of you. I believe that it is a learning process with every new relationship, I am learning that although my man may not show his love for me the way past partners have that he does show it every day in many ways. He may not verbalize it often but he shows it all the time and that is something I am coming to love. I think I prefer the everyday little things to the loud I love you and no real visible showing of the feeling. Past partners have said it constantly and never really meant it so I suppose I expected that was the only way to know if it were true. Over the past few days after having an eye-opening discussion with not only him but others about their relationships too, I have come to the realization that we have the best type relationship for me. We are fair, compassionate and loving in far greater depth than I have ever been with anyone else but I can now be honest and admit that I have been selfish in my expectations of him and I am willing to change that for him. We may disagree on some finer points but we are able to talk about these differences and agree to disagree. But we know where we stand with each other and that is important.
I find the same walls being built-in a lot of relationships and am working on them not effecting mine. So really does one person really have to win all the time. That is what I see as the biggest detriment to most relationships, that they are always trying to win, whether it be emotional, (they aren’t reacting like I think they should) control issues (I need them to be this way) or financial (I make more so I am right) I see them putting pressure on themselves and their partners to fit the mold they have come to believe love must fit into somehow. Jealousy and lack of understanding or the inability to really listen to what is being said by the other person seems to be a constant in some relationships I am witness to, just the refusal to ask for clarification of the others expectations or thoughts. We certainly do not all think alike and some may verbalize a thought differently then we ourselves would. It is not a failure to question your partner but a way to better understand them. Past relationships are going to come to mind in some situations but we need to remember that this is not that person but a whole new person with totally different dna. They will not act nor react the same way yet we expect them to, strange how we do that isn’t it. Talking about past hurts, betrayals and blessings other relationships brought to us is a good way to let the other person know what you do and do not want to happen in this relationship and why. It can only help you be more emotionally connected by allowing you to share the things that make you vulnerable in any relationship and that can not be a bad thing can it?
I am as I said learning and loving every day, and that after all is what life is all about right?
Feel free to comment and give your opinions, I so enjoy when I can get different views on topics I rant and rave about 😉