Extreme Changes


Ok guys gonna need a TON of support over the next little while, I am quitting both drinking and smoking this week and that is a daunting proposition to say the least. Since my ex came onto the scene last year my drinking has gotten way out of hand, I always drank but not like this now I think I have to admit that  I am an alcoholic, I can go without it but once I start I cannot stop and am having blackouts, last night I do not even remember where I was or how I got home, all I remember is the ex wanting to “talk” and I fell getting away from him and banged my knee up badly, and then my brother coming to my place and trying to clean up my knee. I do not know where I was nor how much I drank or with whom and that is scary ……..and if I do not quit smoking I am just gonna get sicker and I do not want to die like my mom did of emphysema with several strokes before the big one, I was in the hospital last month with low blood oxygen and they had a hard time getting it up to an acceptable range. I am getting help for both these addictions but it is going to be very rough as I am not that strong when it comes to will-power. I know I need help and am getting it but damn it is not easy dealing with my depression at the best of times so I am just not sure how I am going to do this. I will do it  but I just not sure how! Hopefully with lots of love and support from those who stick around and can put up with me because I imagine my moods are not going to be pleasant. I need to start sleeping and eating properly and taking better care of myself in all aspects of my life. Maybe the book clubs etc will help, I definitely need healthier people and activities in my life. Sorry if these admissions shock you, they did me! But it is what it is and only I can change that.


About bettywins3

I am beginning life anew with a new job and home. It may be an exciting and challenging voyage but always it brings joy, happiness and calm. I am always seeking out knowledge where-ever I may find it , I love learning even the most mundane things, I love watching TED and surfing the net , I google anything I don't know no matter how trivial it may seem. Never too late to expand our horizons!
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