This blog is sometimes B.S.

When I started this blog I was in a very miserable relationship but I really loved the guy even though I knew he has never loved anyone and is not even capable of it. I began using it as a place to rant and dream and try to make myself feel better about my life.  The last while I have been writing about my paramour and while I have been dating lately there is no special man in my life at all, that was just fiction. Unfortunately it came to my attention that some of my friends did not realize this and thought I really had a love in my life. Not sure the reason I have even been fantasizing like this as I really don’t want any man in my life completely at all right now. Maybe because I know he reads it and I want him to think that I have moved on as he supposedly  has ,and maybe I just don’t want the world to know how  lonely I really am sometimes. I work a lot and go out for lunch and see people every day. I have joined a book club and am joining another next month. I am trying hard to forget the last year and just make a better life for myself. It is very hard and sometimes  because you see he uses several different ways to try to stay in my life and that makes it very difficult to forget him, I just remind myself of  all the hurt he caused me and that helps every time.  I just want to be that  vivacious, beautiful and exciting woman I know I used to be. And I will again just gonna take some time. that is one thing I do have, time. I may meet the love of my life one day but if I don’t that’s ok too because I am building myself one that is going to leave no room for any loneliness at all.  One that abounds in peace and contentment which I have most of the time. But it is the bad times that tend to stand out isn’t it , well with me at least. Just need to remind myself of just how good my life really is 1,000 times a day and all will be just fine.  So bottom line NO MORE FANTASIES here, unless they are juicy and then I will share as just that, fiction and nothing more.

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About bettywins3

I am beginning life anew with a new job and home. It may be an exciting and challenging voyage but always it brings joy, happiness and calm. I am always seeking out knowledge where-ever I may find it , I love learning even the most mundane things, I love watching TED and surfing the net , I google anything I don't know no matter how trivial it may seem. Never too late to expand our horizons!
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2 Responses to This blog is sometimes B.S.

  1. RedeuxBill says:

    Betty,

    Well, this is certainly an interesting post!

    Sometimes, the way to stop or prevent others from our past from hurting / annoying us is to know, really know that we deserve better. And to feel this within ourselves. Others can make us feel bad for only as long as we allow it. We don’t have to make a scene or anything like that. we just have to understand why we let this happen.: why we attract people like this, why we continue to keep them in our lives and why, in some way we get something out of it, too. Even if it is hurt. There can be one reason or several. But, when we understand the dynamics, we can change it.

    Work to make things better.

    Bill

    ________________________________

    • bettywins3 says:

      I am certainly working towards this goal Bill and no I will not allow him in my life again. Some of my writing is about who I want to be and the choices I want to make, I find it reinforces my aim at my goal.
      Ty for the feedback it is appreciated

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