So I have been very busy getting ready for the big assessment on Wednesday. Not sure if I could go at this pace for much longer so glad it is tomorrow.
On a brighter note I have a late lunch date on Thursday, first date so will see how it goes, I do know I am not rushing into anything more serious than casual dating right now and probably not for quite a while. It is going to take a very special kind of man to make me change my mind on that one.
Have been meeting with G at Tims daily and finding his knowledge and insights very helpful to my current status in life. After some discussion it seems he retired to St T a couple of years ago after his wife died. He was an associate professor at Western for years and holds doctorates in both psychology and literature. Not sure why he finds talking to me stimulating but he does. He says it is because of my “wonder” when something he says really hits me. He claims he actually sees me glow at those times. He finds my strength and tenacity amazing, and says repeatedly he does not know how I have made it when I have to keep rebuilding my life from scratch every time.
But then as he acknowledges he has had a good life with few hardships which makes us complete opposites on this earthly realm. He also claims to be learning as much from me as I am him. I know I am enjoying the time we spend together immensely. He is probably the most beneficial acquaintance I have made in the last 5 years, funny who you meet over coffee isn’t it?
I am certainly sorting out a lot of emotional issues in the last week and this has been the cause of my strange dreams of late I suppose. Each night I am having very convoluted, mixed up dreams that seem to just meld into each other, kind of like walking through doors into a completely different times and places. They are completely random, having no connection to each other at all. I am going to trust my sleeping mind knows what it is doing and is simply filing away all the clutter where it was supposed to be in the first place to give my waking mind the space needed to do the work it must do.
I still am not eating the best and fall asleep on the couch most nights only to drag my butt to bed in the wee hours. This is partly due to the work load lately I am sure and the fact that I have a slight chest infection/summer cold also.
But I am focusing on the many ways things are getting better in my life and letting the negative, sad and depressing moods pass through me. I am finding that with the methods I now use I can allow these feelings to have their moments, but after acknowledging them I can let them go and go on with my day.