I hate the quiet!

I have this problem it seems. I get lonely. I work as much as I can all week and usually the weekends too because if I am alone I think and when I think I get depressed. I do try to replace the negative thoughts with positive ones and I do go for walks, get out to see people etc when I can. Most of my friends are couples and/or families so the weekends are family time for them. I could continue my little trysts with a certain someone but I did not find them much of a distraction in the long run. Since being single and the “influence” is not there I am not drinking much as I simply don’t need to anymore. I go for a couple but mostly that is because I really have no where else to go in this stinking town and at least a game of pool is a social experience.  Especially since I don’t drive it makes it hard to get around, although I do walk some pretty good distances when necessary. I cannot take public transport as I have panic attacks on buses since a bad experience years ago. And cabs are very dear in this town and reserved for emergencies only. I have hobbies but am usually too damned tired by days end to pursue them much. I have taken to taking the laptop to bed and falling asleep to a movie or tv show, it helps me not think. I hate the quiet sometimes. It allows too much time for personal reflection and that allows my mistakes to be relived again and again. Oh well one day at a time. 🙂


About bettywins3

I am beginning life anew with a new job and home. It may be an exciting and challenging voyage but always it brings joy, happiness and calm. I am always seeking out knowledge where-ever I may find it , I love learning even the most mundane things, I love watching TED and surfing the net , I google anything I don't know no matter how trivial it may seem. Never too late to expand our horizons!
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