Patiently waiting

I have been putting on a brave front for months now, I get up every morning, shower, work socialize and carry on like I am so strong, the truth is I am not. I am sad and sometimes when I am alone I cry for what I have lost. My parents, children, family, and the men in my life all gone. My career and hopes and dreams too. I think sometimes that I am meant to be alone but then I remember how much love I give to them when they are in my life and I think that I cannot possibly be destined to be alone. I think sometimes I should accept my life as it is and maybe then I would be happy but I just can’t. While I do see men casually now for the companionship  I have had more than one man wanting a relationship in the last 3 months but I am not ready for that. And I suppose I won’t be for a while yet and that is ok.  I have tremendous friends without whom I don’t think I could make it through some days, thank God for them. I have been single for long periods in my life and while I don’t like being alone I muddle through and  when it gets too much I settle for another Mr Wrong.  I do know that I would not want any of the men from my past back in my life again and that I am not willing to settle anymore, I have learnt I don’t need someone to make me miserable I can do that all on my own. I need someone to love and care about me  for a change, someone who gives as much as they take………not sure when that will happen but am willing to stay single until it does. 

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About bettywins3

I am beginning life anew with a new job and home. It may be an exciting and challenging voyage but always it brings joy, happiness and calm. I am always seeking out knowledge where-ever I may find it , I love learning even the most mundane things, I love watching TED and surfing the net , I google anything I don't know no matter how trivial it may seem. Never too late to expand our horizons!
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